So why haven’t I written lately? Hmmmm. Truth?
I’m not really into recovery anymore. It’s not that I’ve made it through the gate and no longer have need of recovery – just that I’m not really concentrating on it anymore. I hardly ever go to meetings, I hardly ever read any 12 step material and I hardly ever think of my self as “addicted” any more.
Probably I still am – but my mind shift has moved more into stage two recovery or maybe even three. Whatever that is. Mostly these days I’m losing some of my codependent, people pleasing neediness and just concentrating on living as I am.
I’m not even into “religion” as much as I was. Today for instance, don’t gasp but I didn’t go to Mass simply because I didn’t feel like it. Maybe it was too much Halloween sugar (I did indulge a little there) or maybe it was just plain stubbornness. I don’t feel guilty about it either. Matter of fact I feel like my life is a bit more in control. More stable. I certainly don’t need God any less (not that stupid, yet) but neither do I feel that crossing every “t” and dotting every “i”makes me a Catholic in good standing.
So what am I really into? Writing!
I am finally, at long last starting to make a living as a writer. Not a good living by any means but it’s paying the rent and a few bills. In time I may even be able to eat more than once a day. Just kidding!
I have several ongoing writing jobs and hoping to find a few more. Bit by bit, step by step life is getting better and better.
I’m also into reading!
Hooked on books. Is that my latest addiction or an old one revived? Besides reading anything and everything to do with writing (especially copywriting) I am reading all the books that there was never time for when I was a nun. My favorites are mysteries like John Grisham and Dick Francis. I love reading children’s books and anything else. I’m a regular patron at our library here. o, books, books, I love books!
Last week I went to Florida for an AWAI (American Writers & Artists Inc.). Was over the top awesome. I’m already saving my pennies so I can go again next year.Met a lot of people, heard a lot of good things, got a few new free books about copywriting (wonderful books by the way) and had a great time.
The trip home was almost not. I flew out of Del Ray, Florida to Newark, New Jersey. Everything on schedule, everything on time. My plane was to leave at 5:00 pm. Then I started hearing about airport closure and planes being grounded and I started getting a bit nervous. Thankfully my plane left on time as scheduled just two hours before the whole airport was shut down. Was I ever lucky or what???
So this is where things are at the moment. If you want to keep up with my round about topsy-turvy life I am writing a bit more at PatriciaProctor.com and I hope to be writing even more at my new site – HeavenlyCopy.com
I will try to pop back here a bit more – really I love keeping up with all of you – just for a bit my head and life was scrambling a bit to make a living and wasn’t too much fun to write about!
Life gets in the way of living sometimes . . .
sounds VERY positive
Blessings
Claudio Martinez
720-335-4038
You were missed! Good to hear your progress. Praying for your success in all you do. God’s blessings be with you!
Wow, Patricia. It sounds like you are happier, more relaxed, and doing what you enjoy. I’m so happy for you! May God continue to bless you. I look forward to hearing how things are going with you (and your pets too!)
Karen (Commerce Township, MI)
I am relieved to hear that you are well and being positive in your progress. I remember the days when you introduced me to the Musings of Danielle Bean with a link to her site.
Please stay upbeat and well. You are loved.
HI
Glad you enjoyed the conference and you were able to catch your flight home.
i think you are right on track Patricia. You are where you are happy and that is important.
do we need to sign up to the other sites you mentioned to get posts from you? Will you let me know. I am not sure if i am signed up on those posts. Thanks in advance.
So happy you are working and making a living writing, that is wonderful.
are you writing articles for magazines? Curious to know.
Take good care Patrica, always wonderful to hear from you.
Wonderful blessings sent your way !
You sound good, positive & on a roll, keep it up Patricia !
I’m so scattered right now, since Sept. 12, my 91 (almost 92) year old Uncle that we take care of, fell & broke his pelvis. It’s been one thing after another, in the hospital then re-hab then a nursing home then had a heart on Oct. 18, back at the hospital, got an intestinal infection, they put him in isolation. Then he couldn’t swallow so they put in a feeding tube into his belly. Now he is back at the nursing home (still in isolation) We are his only relatives. Then on Oct. 21 my husband’s cousin died suddenly at 67, we were very close to him. I really hate to say this I started asking God why would he take a 67 year old man that has 2 very young grand children that he loved dearly (the 7 year old & his daughter found him dead) & here is my Uncle at almost 92 that is miserable & argue’s with everyone about every thing. I just don’t get it. I’m sorry I’m worn out. We can’t do anything to please him or do anything right. We are really being tested right now. Please pray for us & my Uncle Al.
Oh, Judie, you are so burdened right now. Only God knows the answer to your question about this uncle living so long.
I will pray for you for strength to get through all of this. I know you must be exhausted. Hang on – this can’t last much longer. Your uncle is a very sick man.
Maybe God is teaching you patience, compassion, who know???
I’m sending you a hug, you really need one.
Take care & I pray life will be better for you soon.
Please let me know here how you’re doing.
Carol
Dear Judie: God bless you and family. Bless the daughter and granddaughter, too. How sad they must have been. Maybe Padre Pio would help your Uncle Al. Yes, it is hard to understand the question you had. I’m sure God does not mind us telling him how we feel. Dear Jesus: Please give Judie strength and peace and help her with decisions. Amen Dolores in Oregon
Greetings & Blessings Judi~
My heart goes out to you as a caregiving is not easy and one can get burned out doing it. You can’t even have some “Judi Time” cause as you said, your Uncle Al’s only relatives. I’m sure there’s a lot of stress in your household over this too, which I can understand. As for why would God take a 67 year old Home instead of a 91/92 year that is in bad shape…well the answer is simple…We are all on loan to this earth for a specific job/journey and when that journey is done, He takes us Home where we begin another journey. My 98 year old Aunt Lee, who was in a wheel chair and on oxygen 24/7 and in a nursing home too, insisted on coming to my 64 year old Sister’s wake. When wheeled in she cried, why her and not me and I knew Aunt Lee really wanted to go Home as we had many talks about it. And once again I told her, Aunt Lee, your job here on earth is not yet finished, whereas Susan’s is. Yes, Sue leaves behind a husband and grown up kids and precious grandchildren she was enjoying so much. Believe it or not, Judi, we learned a lot of lessons from my Sister’s life and her children did too, though they may not have realized it at the time. Aunt Lee couldn’t understand what she was still able to do here on earth. I said your here honoring and celebrating your niece’s life right now. Your determination and love got you here to do this. Your a favorite patient at the nursing home because you can’t see, you can barely walk, and yet you don’t ask them for hardly any help at all–you help yourself…you do for yourself. You don’t think that’s a lesson right there you teach us all. But most of all, she still had her faith. But she still wanted to know what good she is here on earth? I said, you spend most of your days praying and those prayers are very powerful, which you’re probably not aware of right now, but when you do go HOME you’ll see just how much good they did to help your loved ones here on earth. She calmed down a bit. Aunt Lee went Home to the Father when she was 99 very peacefully in her sleep. I’m sure she got her wings right away and now is soaring with the Angels and watching over her family here on earth, especially those great-grandchildren of hers. She was re-united with all her loved ones that had gone Home before her including her husband, my Uncle Al.
Judi, if you feel you could use an ear or a shoulder, I’m here for you. Just ask Patricia for my e-mail address and we can go on from there. In the mean time, know that I will be praying for you and sending Angels your way to bring you comfort and strength.
God’s Love With Angels Around You Always,
Gayle
`
So glad to see you back & enjoying your life. Hooray for you Patricia.
Thank you for sharing the ups and downs. It is good to know we are all human and need to follow our needs. Keep up the good work and many prayers for yur continuted success.
Charlene
I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you were doing — and voila — there was your message! Glad to hear that all is well. Loving life is the way to go! Check in now and then with your “old” pals. God Bless!
I am proud of you! I love hearing what has been happening in your life. You are just a treat.
I have 13 years in recovery and I haven’t been to a meeting of any sort for over 9 years. Not going back to my addiction no matter what happens. As far as helping others….I do that every chance I get. So do not feel guilty my friend.
)
Ok, Patricia, I didn’t gasp about you comment re: skipping Mass. I’ve done the same thing.
I’m so happy for you because you’ve come such a long way,living a normal,happy life,loving what you’re doing. GOOD FOR YOU! You sound so happy!
Continued blessings to you in all you do!
Carol
Patricia: So glad to hear about you no matter what you are doing or not doing. We all love you very much for the reason that you much be loveable. You say and do things that we can relate to. You talk to us like we are all family and you are comfortable with us. God bless you. Love always. Dolores in Oregon
Trish, I am glad to hear all that has happened in your life of late. You sound really great and positive. It is so good to hear how all your writing and reading skills are falling in place. Blessings on you.
Good Morning Patricia
So happy to have you back,i real missed your e-mail’s.
Have a great and peaceful day.
Regards Barb Perreault
So good to hear that you are doing well. Missed your emails. May God always bless you.
As I always say “One day at a time”!
So glad to hear from you. You sound so well and on the right path for you. No gasp here for missing Mass. Before you went because you had to or felt obligated to or were trained to. It was expected. Now, I am sure you get much more out of Mass because you really want to be there. Keep up the good work and be happy. God Bless.
Have read the comments from your devoted friends..I, too, am pleased that you are happy and have concentrated on writing and living your life. God Bless you Patricia…Keep up the good work.
Stay in Touch…
Dora
Dear Patricia,
So nice to hear from you and that you are so much better and enjoying life – doing the things you love. That is what life is all about. Its great that your writing is paying off too.
God Bless you and take care of you.
Maryan.
I was wondering about you and happy to know that you are alive and well and on a writing roll! Share your life with us – NOT because of therapy but because you want to know we are still out here as we want to know that you are still out there!!!!!! ……. You have become a friend on a journey ….as we all are on that same journey. SO WELCOME BACK. …… and I am going to mark your sites. Hugs from here to there …
As a recovering person myself, I am a little concerned about your remarks regarding your recovery.I have found that my recovery is an ongoing lifetime process and if I lose it, I also lose all the marvelous bbenefits that come with it.Remember that addictions are”cunning, baffling and powerful”(and patient).Be very careful, dear Pat.You will be in my prayers!
Good morning Patricia
You constantly remain in my daily prayers. Thank you for all you do for so many. Your rewards are great and your fine example in worthy to all. Love and hugs always.
peace and prayers, Marci
Greetings & Blessings Patricia~
It’s been a long time since we heard from you here, but I was never worried about you. Every time I would think of you and not hearing from you, I would lift you in prayer and feel very good afterwards as if my Angels were telling me, she’s fine doing her own thing. Gotta love those Angels! And believe me, I do.
So you are now living your own life as Patricia and being true to whom you are. Isn’t that what we wanted and prayed for you. So you missed Mass because you didn’t feel like it…not judging here at all…for you are a human being. Besides, in His ten commandments He says to keep holy the Lord’s day and as long as we offer all that we are doing in His name and remembering Him through the day, I believe we are keeping His day holy.
Not into recovery that much anymore…that’s OK too. Just as long as you tell yourself if and when you find yourself at a low point and might need some feedback from the “Recovery Folks” that have guided you in the past, that you call them or go to a meeting to get what you need for that time. Just don’t let yourself get to the low point. So far it sounds like Life is Wonderful for you and I’m happy for you. I do believe writing is and was always your gift, you just didn’t realize it at the time.
Glad you got one of the last planes out of NJ. I live in NY and have family in NJ so I’m well aware of the devastation around. Even with all the loss around, I know and believe there’s a reason why all this is happening. And the most important gift we can send all those folks are prayer as prayer is very powerful. And of course secondly do what we can to help those in need with however/whatever we can just to help out a fellow human being…another one of God’s children.
Wishing you all the best, Patricia and will keep you in my prayers. Love you!
God’s Love With Angels Around You Always
Patricia,
I’m so glad to hear from you but also shocked that you would miss Mass on Sun. I just don’t understand your thinking there. To me God comes first in everything and instead of feeling comfortable I would feel very guilty. I’m surprised most others who wrote didn’t see this as a problem. I wish you the best in your writing career and will pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you.
Blessings,
Kathy
I’m glad that you’re doing well. I first saw you years ago on the Franciscan cards website and enjoyed the daily emails. They were very inspirational. It’s a good thing that you’re not influenced by the must do’s of religion anymore. I’m Catholic, go to Mass on Sunday, and love my devotion to St. Joseph. However, I totally trust in God and his unconditional love for me with all my virtues, struggles and faults and also don’t let the crossing of every “t” and dotting of every “i” get in the way. God bless you and yours, Patricia.
Hi Pat,
I am so glad that you are back. I really missed reading from you and also your encouraging words. It is always good to hear how other people are fairing in life. It is very encouraging to know how others tackle issues in life and don’t let life bog her down. May God continue blessing you and giving you courage. May He bless your plans.
Sr. Domenicah
Glad you were able to get out of New Jersy before the storm hit. My daughter lives in Woodridge. NJ. They were without power for a while but ther was no flooding. However they do have family living in Hoboken NJ. One is an elderly woman who couldn’t be moved until finally the police came and carried her down 5 flights and they are now with their daughter where they now have power and heat. I understand there is another storm, a Noreasterly, heading to the same area. It is getting cold and there are still a lot of people without power. Your prayers are needed.
Hi Pat,
So good to hear from you! I am very happy to hear that all is going well for you and that you are concentrating on your writing. God has given you such a special way of communicating with others that always brings compassion, love, and friendship.
I’m glad that everything worked out at the airport and you were able to continue on your journey home. God is good and blesses us in so many ways. I know people who live on the Jersey shore, and their home is ruined from the water. So many people without power and homes – they surely need our prayers.
I keep you in my prayers and pray for blessings that your writing career will continue to bring you much happiness and good fortune.
Patricia A.
+JMJ+
Hi Patricia,
Hearing from you is like a breath of fresh air again! So happy to know you are into something you love and enjoying your reading and writing.
patricia I’m so happy that you are LEARNING to relax and rest too!!!!That’s a new thing for you. Not going to meetings, having to drive there, and listen and participate when you are probably tired and would like to stay home instead, is a big thing for you. You had just left the monastery, where everything was early rise and structure,structure structure, committments and responsibility…..It’s time now to relax, do what YOU enjoy and like you say, having something to pay the bills. Just the thought of what you were doing there alone, used to tire me out. Driving such long distances, then meetings, ohhhh! the run,run,run. Now you seem to do what you want to do and no more rushing to make meetings and participating when you didn’t feel like it and THEN having to drive back home exhausted, too tired to sleep.
I’m happy for you. I just resigned from a choir where I was a director, organist etcetct because of health reasons, and now am committed to just ME…..my husband,children and grandchildren and 2 GREAT grandchildren. Granted, health issues forced me to leave, but NOW???? I feel free for the first time in my life. I don’t HAVE to do anything any more. I love it when I can lie down when I like any day of the week!
Glad you are in touch with us! You are my inspiration always. ………..love and prayers…..Marie
Hi! Patricia;
Have really missed you. You look so happy and more relaxed
you explained all your feelings as I did many, many years ago.
Keep up the good work (praying for you) and may the Holy Spirit
give you all that you need for writing your books, he will give you
whatever you need and your confedance will soar. I love the books
I had ordered from you and they are an inspriration.
God bless you abundantley.
Loretta Baker