Are you still acting as a child?

I am back in Oregon – nice rain and fog. When I walked to church this morning the ducks were happy as could be. Definitely their kind of weather.

My computer is on the blink. Very close to death. I can sometimes keep it on for a few minutes before it goes into its death throes. At the moment I am working on a lap top – which is fine except that I cannot access all my files and programs. Always something new in life to deal with. So until I figure out how to get things fixed and working again I will have to hold on adding the latest pet pictures.

Buddy is soooo glad I am home. That is when I am home. I haven’t figured out yet how to get the laptop to access the internet in my apartment – so at the moment I am over at my sister’s so that I can send this out. That, and eat a good dinner of course!

Went to an Al-anon meeting this morning. The topic today was Honesty. We have decided to take the fourth step work book and work through one question per meeting. Each question has several parts to it. The first part of the question was something like “how did you lie as a child?”

So . . .  how did I lie as a child?

How does that affect how I am honest or not today?

As each of us shared some moments about childhood slips of honesty – it started to unfold that how we acted as children formed patterns of behavior that were still present. As children I had fears that are not present in my life today and yet “saving people’s feelings”, “excusing my own behavior”, minimizing how others affect me”, ”minimizing my effect upon others” all surfaced as ways that I was still using patterns formed as a child.

I’m not sure exactly how to “fix” my behavior but I expect that just acknowledging that it is present may be a good first step.